funny money quotes

Funny Money Quotes – 30 Quotes about Money that Ring True!

We often need to be practical and conservative when it comes to money. Still, it can be difficult to keep your cool when your funds are dwindling faster than you can earn them. To make sure that you don’t lose your sanity, here are some funny money quotes to give you a boost of happy hormones.

No matter what you’re going through, you can always do with a bit of good humor. These quotes may not be able to raise the numbers in your bank account, but they sure can raise your spirits.

30 Funny Money Quotes

funny money quotes about money

Let’s start with some hilarious one-liners about serious bills.

1. “The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.” – Peter Ustinov

2. “Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.” –- Sam Ewing

3. “Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income – which he then spends sending his son to college.” – Bill Vaughn

4. “The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.” – Bill Murray

Funny Money Quotes About Debt

Although debt is a pretty entertaining topic as well.

5. “If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.” – Errol Flynn

6. “Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back.” – Author Unknown

7. “Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.” – Author Unknown

8. “They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?” – Anonymous

Blue Collar Funny Money Quotes

funny quotes about money

On the other hand, everything is controlled by the rich. Here are some more funny money quotes to tickle all you blue-collar workers out there.

9. “We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules.” – Buzzie Bavasi

10. “Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale.” – Zig Ziglar

11. “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died” — Malcolm Forbes

12. “The rich. Do you know why they’re so odd? Because they can afford to be.” –Alexander Knox (Robert Wuhl) in Batman

13. “The poor have more children, but the rich have more relatives.” – Unknown

Money Quotes About Banks

Are you in stitches yet? Likewise, banks are laughing along right beside you.

14. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope

15. “A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.” – Robert Frost

16. “People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” —Joan Rivers

17. “Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.” – Anonymous

18. “Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.” – George Burns

The Power Of Money Quotes

Next, we have relatable funny money quotes to remind you of the power of money.

19.  “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.” – Jackie Mason

20. “When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.” – Oscar Wilde

21.  “Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.” – Françoise Sagan

22. “While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.” – Groucho Marx

Funny Money Quotes from the Rich and Famous

money quote will smith

Coming up next are some comical quips from famous people. It seems that even the rich and famous can’t escape from money problems.

23. “Money often costs too much.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

24. “If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.” – James Goldsmith

25.  “Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet” — Robin Williams

Lastly, we have the following brilliant and funny money quotes to inspire you on how to spend your money wisely.

26. “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – Will Smith

27. “A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.” – Dave Ramsay

28. “Money is like a sixth sense – and without it, you can’t use the other five.” – William Somerset Maugham

29.  “I am having an out of money experience.” – Anonymous

30. “I don’t pay good wages because I have a lot of money; I have a lot of money because I pay good wages.” – Robert Bosch, founder of Bosch

Funny Money Quotes Final Note

If it’s funny money quotes you are looking for, then these are our faves. After all, money is part of all of our lives and we all love a good money quote!